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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

14 days.

(picture taken by my sweet Van...yes, I really am asleep...and Vin is really under that blanket snuggling!)

I remember those first couple of weeks on maternity leave.
Everything was so different.
We were trying to figure out a routine.
Paul was getting frustrated with me, because I never had Van in bed on time...like he did when I was at work.
I was messing things up being home.
We were laughing at that tonight.
Two weeks left, and we have it all figured out.
Just in time for me to go back to work.
It is going by too fast.
I didn't think it would go slow, but man it was like a blink of an eye.Two nights ago when Vin was having a hard time falling to sleep.
I started to cry.
Not the ugly cry, just a quiet tears roll down your face kind.
I can't believe I have to leave him.
My baby.
I remember having to leave my Van.
It was hard. Really hard.
This time is different, I have to leave two of my babies.
Sometimes when Van wakes up in the morning, I swear she gets bigger.
The same thing happens to Vin.
I won't be gone long at work, but an hour away can mean I miss his first word...or first step.
I love being home.
I will miss giving Vin a bath every night.
I will miss reading bed time stories to Van.
I will miss falling asleep watching Food Network...and Paul coming in to take my glasses off.
I will miss going to Tae Kwon Do every day with Van.
I will miss all of our play dates.
I will miss having no where to go...so I can sit in the rocking chair for hours and sing to my baby.
I will miss spending hours watching Van catch bugs.
I will miss naps with Paul.
I will miss everything.
This is where I want to be.
Home with my babies, and my best friend.

11 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Oh, I'm sure it never gets easier. :(

jayni & ben said...

Makes me want to cry. Like I am holding back tears because it is only a few weeks before I am going to have this same post on my blog :( I don't wanna go back to work!!! I just wanna be a mommy.

Unknown said...

My heart is broken for you!!! It did go by WAY TOO FAST!!

Emily said...

Oh, you sweet mama...I am so sad for you. Perhaps your post helps remind those of us who are home how precious bath time and bedtime really are...

Vanessa said...

No one can make us feel more guilty about going back to work then ourselves...or the 95 year old ladies in Relief Society.

Think of the great reunion you get to have every day with them! It will be magical :)

Kings said...

sad. I'm practically crying too! i don't think I realize how hard it is going to be for me :(

Jerilee E. said...

you are such a sweet, caring mommy! Not nearly enough moms appreciate their family and the time they have with them like you do. You always remind me of that and I am grateful.

Rebecca said...

Vanessa makes a great point. You will be amazing with the time you do have. Because you're good like that. =)

Krystal said...

hey I love the blanket you and Vin are snuggling with :) so cute! Anyway, I agree that time flies... savor every moment... Vin and Van are lucky to have a mommy like you... AND they're lucky to have such a great hands-on daddy too... I know it's not ideal to work, but sometimes work is a blessing... you will find balance, I'm sure.

vanessa said...

Guess what we have the cutest girls of all time.

Kehl Fam said...

Oh how I feel your pain, my dear.
My heart aches for you.
What a wonderful Mommy you are! Keep your head up.