#livewithoutpretending

Maybe some of you played along on Instagram, in February of this year, when Brooke from Studio 5 challenged everyone to share photos of their "real" life. #Livewithoutpretending is still one of my favorite hashy's. It feels so good to see people be real, authentic, and open up that life isn't always perfect. Like a breath of fresh air. Am I the only one who likes to see that one girl doesn't always have a spotless house, and that someone else goes without a shower all day? Maybe. It makes my imperfect self, feel a little more normal...whatever normal is.

I have been struggling. I don't want to be, I want to be fine. I don't want to be that friend that always seems to have an issue. It gets old for me, and I know it can get old for people to deal with around me {just ask Paul}. I feel ungrateful when I am depressed, because I can look around and see how awesome my life really is. Then my brain tells me that I am undeserving of such a life, and that I am never going to be the Wife, Mother, friend that I want to be. Depression is an odd beast.

LDS Conference was this past weekend. I usually don't watch, because I don't get much out of it. I blame my children, but I'll be honest and just say that I usually end up asleep...waking up at the closing prayer. This past weekend was different. I watched most, and was really uplifted. I cried when Elder Holland spoke on depression in his Like a Broken Vessel talk. It spoke right to my broken self.

Yesterday I decided that I want to be more honest, real, and open. I picked up my camera, and wanted to take some pictures of my "real" life. I didn't make the bed, I didn't do Sabrina's hair, I didn't change her stained shirt, and I even let her have that darn pacifier. My life is rarely pretty and perfect, and I am embracing it.

My life is exhausting enough without trying to make it look like it isn't. I am going to start living without pretending. You will most definitely see more bedhead, jammies, and mismatched clothes...and that is okay. This is my "real" life, and I am going to start loving all of it.