a deseret book wish list...{GIVEAWAY}

I will be honest and tell everyone right now...we actually don't make Christmas wish lists. Probably because one of my children is too little to tell me, and the other one is happy with whatever she gets {I realize this won't last forever!}.  More often than not I just go with what I think they will like, and it has worked.

N-e-ways.

Deseret Book asked me to make a wish list of stuff I would love off of their site. First of all, I didn't realize how much stuff they sell that is not religious! After browsing the entire site, most of what I put on my list was religious...but don't let my list fool you.

Since we don't do lists, I decided to let Savannah in on the fun, and we got a little carried away...and did one for Devi too!

 Devi's list includes...

1. I have wanted a picture of Christ in each of my children's room. The picture we chose for him is a Greg Olsen print by the name of "In His Light". Reminded me of my Devin.
2. Devin is obsessed with ties!!  I think it mostly has to do with Van wearing necklaces, and it his version of a necklace.  He will wear a tie with t shirts, and keep it on all day. I love it.
3. Do I need explain this...really that giraffe is just too cute for words.

 Van's list includes...

1. This goes back to what I said earlier.  The picture we chose for Savannah is also by Greg Olsen and it goes by the name of "I Feel My Savior's Love". After I decided on my pictures, I went back and decided I could have gone with a few different ones, and still be really happy.
2. Right now Van has the generic CTR ring that you get for a couple of bucks. I love how far the CTR rings have come, they have some really beautiful ones.
3. Last year Van got her very own scriptures, and we have yet to go and purchase her a special case for them. 
4. This year Savannah has been talking about getting baptized. I remember my baptism like it was yesterday, and how special my parents made it for me.  I received a coloring book, and another little book to jot down my thoughts...I wish I could find it now.  Excited to see what this year has in store for our girl.

My list..

1. I have been swooning over a really awesome temple picture for our house. We got married in the San Diego temple, and it is coming up on 13 years...aren't we due for a gorgeous temple picture!?  I think yes.
2. I collect Nativity sets. I have the start to the Willow Tree collection that my SIL Deanna gave me for Christmas, but I would love to add to it.
3. Of course, I need a new CTR ring too.  It has been 15 years since I have had one!
4. The last time I got scriptures was in 1988. You don't even want to see them...so trashed. I always laugh, because my Mom wrote in the front of it...and my parents were married.  So she signed it from the both of them. I barely have any memories of the two of them together, but those scriptures always give me that reminder. While I was typing this, I decided I wanted some of those scripture stickers too! :)
5. I actually don't mind my temple bag, because it was a homemade gift from a friend when I went through the temple the first time. My only complaint is it really bulky. I love these little purse like bags that aren't so awkward to carry.

Whoa, are you guys still with me!?  That ended up being a lot. :) 

Here is the good part!! Giveaway time...

Let me know what is on your Deseret Book wish list.

One of my lucky readers will be randomly selected to receive the item(s) off of their list ($100 in value). Awesome right!? 

If you would like an extra entry, go like Deseret Book on Facebook...come back and tell me in another comment!

Since we would love to have your prize to you before Christmas, the Giveaway will end Thursday the 15th, at Midnight...and winner will be emailed Friday morning!

Good luck. :)

Disclosure: Deseret Book compensated me for writing this post, but the wants and desires are all our very own.

having a girl like me.

I actually wrote this back on September 9th and for some reason didn't post it...

***

As far back as I can remember I was always known as the sensitive child.  I was brought to tears from teasing more times than I can count.  I would get embarrassed easily, and then proceed to cry.  I can't say that I have changed much in the sensitive department.  I can say that I don't cry as much, but Paul will disagree.  What can I say?  I have a sensitive soul.

Paul was the first person to really get my sensitivity...probably because he is sensitive too.  Paul has spent the last 13 or so years standing up for me, and trying to help people understand it too.  In the process Paul has taught me I can stand up for myself.  Sometimes I think he regrets teaching me to voice my opinion, because I have gotten too good at trash talkin'.  :)

So you know what happens when two really sensitive people have a daughter?  You get our sensitive Savannah.

Every day I realize that the reason why I am her Mom is because I do understand her.  I will protect her furiously just like Paul did and still does for me when I can't do it for myself. I will be here for Savannah when she doesn't get that phone call that she was hoping for, or when someone at school makes fun of her for not being able to do the monkey bars.

AND I am hoping more than anything Paul and I can teach Savannah that it is okay to stand up for yourself...and protect those little sensitive feelings.

***

Today: December 11, 2011
Savannah has definitely taken the miscarriage the hardest. The night I told Savannah about the baby being gone was one of the toughest things I have had to do. Her little heart broke.  If I could have a redo, it would definitely be that night...I would have worded things much different. I spent most of that night in her bed wiping her tears, and she wiped mine. So darn lucky that she is our little girl.

my bright pink package.

Everyone knows how I feel about Vanessa. She is that friend that stays with you through your child's first friend party to help, and that friend that gives you a baby gift early on in pregnancy to help you get excited for your new bundle. Vanessa is also that friend that offers to babysit, and emails you every day while she is on vacation in a far off land to check to make sure that you are doing okay.

Yeah, she is pretty much the bomb {dot} com.

When I got an email Wednesday morning saying...look for a package, I knew Vanessa was once again going to be the person that would be lifting my spirits.

She ordered us a dozen cupcakes from Georgetown Cupcakes {ya know the reality TV show DC Cupcakes on TLC...those cupcakes}!  Please tell me you already know about these guys!?  If not, get informed people.  I will never buy another cupcake in Utah again...they are THAT good.

Paul and I instantly opened the package and smelled them, and then we did what every mature adult would do...

We got our sharpie out and claimed our cupcakes {by marking on the plastic lid, of course}...making sure everyone knew which ones belonged to each of us!

I am just going to go ahead and say this...if you REALLY want to wow someone, and REALLY love someone, or REALLY want to treat yourself...buy these cupcakes. 

Thank you friend for introducing me to what a real cupcake should taste like. Those things were pure bliss. Not gonna lie, those things made my day a whole lot better.

Add another point in heaven for Vanessa...she deserves it

taylors.

When Paul and I were still newly weds {which was a long time ago} I was put in the Young Women's presidency.  I was not much older than the girls, and I kind of felt out of place amongst all the mature {NOT old} women that I served with.  Little did I know I would make a friend that would last a life time from that calling.

Nicole was an answer to my prayers back then, and has definitely been one recently. Soon after our bond began, Nicole moved from our ward. We promised to keep in touch, but haven't been great at it {I mean...there is always Facebook}.  I think we have randomly ran in to each other a few times, but never have planned any meetings.

Wednesday night there was a knock on our door. I was of course in my pj's so Paul went to get the door...can you imagine my surprise when he came to get me and said it was MY NICKI from 10 years ago! I instantly started to cry. I honestly could not believe that a friend from 10 years ago would look up my address, go buy me my favorite cookies {because she read it on my blog}, and come deliver them! Even as I type this, I am overcome with emotion. What an amazing gesture!

Our kids played while we caught up on the past ten years. Man, it was a good night.

Nicole made me realize that I want to be a better person...one who thinks of something like this, and follows through with it. I don't think she will ever comprehend just how much of an impact she made on me in my 20 somethings, and now she has definitely done it again in my 30 somethings!

Nicole...thank you! Really. Truly.

sam jo to the rescue.

The night of the miscarriage I had a hankering for these creamy cheese-E potatoes that my friend had posted on her blog. I had big plans to go to the grocery store after work, and buy heavy whipping cream...and make them that night, even if it was going to be Midnight. My plans obviously fell through. The next day was spent day dreaming of those darn potatoes. I decided we needed a home cooked meal, because that always makes you feel better. 

In the midst of all this day dreaming Sam Jo sent a text she wanted to visit. Man, it was so nice to see her. She helped {and when I say helped, she did it} get our meal cooked, we laughed about my dull knives, and she made sure everyone was set with a plate full of food.  Never have I needed to see a smiling face so much. Sam Jo was heaven sent Tuesday night.

I will be forever grateful for Sam Jo, and for making the long trek to my house to see us.  I realized what an amazing friend I have in her, and how much I have taken advantage of that.

Love you forever and always Sam.

oh my.

I lived in such a bubble before I had this miscarriage.

Who knew that I would still be throwing up, and nauseous after a week!?  Well, I guess my Midwife knew, but I didn't believe her...or at least I hoped I would be different. I still wake up and feel very much pregnant, except I am not. It is odd, really.

I have so many posts that I want to write, and yet all the words don't seem to do my emotions justice.

All I can do right now is try to dig out of this messy house I have let go the past two months, and trust me I didn't do much around these parts. Oh, and get ready for Santa to come, because it is like 19 days away according to Savannah.

too many thoughts.

I started writing a post, and realized it was more like a book than a post. So, I am going to have to split it up into multiple parts. Please bear with me.

I want to thank every single person that has commented on my blog or Facebook, sent me a simple text, emailed me, and called...or did all of the above.

It is sad that I had to go through something like this to realize how blessed I really am. I am in awe of the kindness that people have shown us. I hope that everyone that has gone through a hard time has felt what I have this past week.  My friends are amazing people, and I am proud that I have surrounded myself with such good people.

It has made me look at miscarriages in a whole new way, and I will strive to be a better person...and friend because of it. I will remember how good it felt to receive a simple I'm sorry, instead of nothing at all.

One of my favorite quotes someone sent me was this by Elder Wirthlin, and this is perfect for how I am feeling:

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."