here one day, gone the next.

People always say you should wait to announce your pregnant until you are in your second trimester, in case something happens. I have never been one of those that waited though. I think a baby should be celebrated...no matter what!

baby #3 bump

A few days ago I got notification from my app that I had officially started my second trimester. I thought...well, I am officially out of the scary part. Even though I never have had a miscarriage, a Momma still worries.

Last night my body finally gave up on this pregnancy business, and I miscarried our baby. As shocking as it was to be pregnant with this baby, it is was just as shocking to lose this baby.

I don't regret telling people early, I would have told everyone just a few days ago anyway...I was after all in my second trimester...when it is suppose to be "safe".

I have cried. I have felt angry that I went through 6 weeks of feeling like shit for nothing. I have felt tremendous love for my family, and those people who have supported me through all the crazy.  Thank you for being apart of my life, and for always being there to pick me up when I feel low.

Mucho love.
Von

the sleep buddy.

POST EDIT: Sleep Buddy would like to do a giveaway. Enter to win one by commenting on this post! Giveaway will end December 5...Midnight.

A few months ago Rebecca was asking about a "ok to wake up" clock on Facebook.  How is it that I have been a Mom for 7 years, and never heard of this? It just so happened the following week I was asked to review the Sleep Buddy...and all my dreams came true. {wink, wink}

If you are clueless like I was...here is the 4-1-1

The Sleep Buddy is good for kids that are:

• In the crib and moving to a bed withing a couple of months
• Currently transitioning from crib to bed
• Sleeping in a bed, but not staying through the night

Van has always been a really horrible sleeper, and still is.  What can I say?  I didn't know what I was doing with her. :)  I can think of a huge list of things that I did with her that I changed the 2nd time around with Devin...and guess what?  Devin is my rock star sleeper!  It is true what they say about the first being a guinea pig.

When we got the Sleep Buddy I wanted to try it on Devin first.  We have been using it for about two weeks, and I can honestly say I think it works.  I think he is a little young, and I don't think he fully 'gets' it...but I have noticed a difference.  Devin is a somewhat light sleeper. Since Van needs to be up for school at 6:30ish, Devin seems to always accidentally get woken up...which makes for a cranky pants.  I have his sleep system set up to turn on at 7:00 PM {sometimes he doesn't always make it in the crib at this time}, and turn off at 8:00 AM.  We also have his naps set up with the sleep system too.  The last few mornings he hasn't made a peep before 8:00 AM, which is a huge improvement.  I make a big deal when I get him out of his crib "yeah Devi, you waited until the light was turned off" {imagine my best baby voice}.  He also will point and "talk" to his light when you tell him it is time for bed.

I personally think this will work out great for when we finally decide to transition him to his big boy bed.  He will already be use to the idea, and I can implement the reward chart they have included with the Sleep Buddy.

As far as Van goes...I need a Sleep Buddy for her too...after 7 years that girl still can't seem to sleep a full night in her own bed. So help me people.

Have you used something similar to this with your kids?  What have you found works best, besides threats? ;)

Sleep Buddy is offering my readers $5 off this sleep system by using "momselect" at checkout on their website before December 31st.

Disclosure: I was given a Sleep Buddy through Mom Select to review.  All opinions are my own, and so are the sleepless nights I get.

birthing a baby.

I have hesitated talking about this. Everyone has such strong opinions on this matter...one way or the other. I have felt extremely protective of my decision, and this decision hasn't been something Paul and I have taken lightly. 

I was on Twitter talking to a few ladies about natural childbirth, and that same night Paul called me at work to ask if I had ever done research on birth centers. I don't think this was a coincidence, I like to think it was something that we were both lead to.

We looked at multiple birth centers online, Midwives, and I even watched a bunch of YouTube videos on natural child birth {um, I don't suggest you do this!}. I was curious enough to call one of the birth centers, and make an appointment for a tour.

It was a family affair for the tour, and I have never seen Paul so calm about all the birthing talk.  It put me at ease, and made me feel even more confident in the decision we were making.  The birthing room is like a hotel suite, and the rest of the center looks much like any other medical office.

The Midwife and I started talking water birth, about previous deliveries, and she gave me a quick ultra sound to check on baby.  It all felt so comfortable.  I have never had an ultra sound in a
La-Z-Boy before, and I have to admit it was a nice way to meet our baby "on-screen" for the first time.

I left feeling confident that the birth center is where we wanted to have this baby, but still wanted a few days to let it marinate. I can't say that I didn't waver a little.  It is a big decision, and something I have never done.

I feel like I have already started to hear the negative..."it is gonna hurt!" to "don't just make this decision because it is cheaper."  The thing is, I know it is going to hurt, I have been in labor before.  I never thought this option was going to be easy. As far as it being less expensive than the hospital, it is a major reason why we are choosing the birth center.  If you had the opportunity to save anywhere from $5,000 to $7,000, maybe more, you wouldn't question the decision you were making?

I am not saying that this decision is for everyone, I also know that if I had insurance with a deductible that was only $5,000, or insurance that covered maternity at all...I would not be making the same decision.

We all make decisions that best fit our current situation, and I am glad that we found something that meets our needs for here and now.

Happy natural birthing.

mondays are my favorite.

I don't know why it is, but I actually have really been looking forward to my Mondays lately.  Maybe it is the routine, or that I try to clean really good on Monday, or maybe I just like a fresh start. I like 'em.

Even though someone forgot to turn off the car light, making it so the car would not start...I would still say it was a good day.

I got my clean on, my nap on, and my grocery shopping on.

I can now say I am ready for Thanksgiving, and I am prepared to cook until I have dirtied all my dishes. Whenever I cook Thanksgiving, I always think of my family...my Dad is a really good cook. He would always slave away in the kitchen for all of us.

We have been going to the movies for years on Thanksgiving.  Our tickets have already been purchased for The Muppets!  12:25 PM...holla.  Do you go?  What movie are ya'll seeing?  The Muppets has kept up the 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  Which makes us all the more excited to see it.

Maybe I will feel well enough to throw up a few thankful posts this week...if not...Happy Thanksgiving, and know I am just really thankful for everything I have.

a date with my devi.

I made plans to go to the American Crafts Warehouse sale yesterday.  I figured if Dev was good during all the crazy shopping...then I would let him go run wild with the dinosaurs at the museum. Luck was on my side, and he was a gem. 

It was comical watching him run up and down the ramps, and growl at all the big dinosaur bones. It made my heart happy to see him not constrained to his stroller, because when I take two...I can't seem to keep track of both.  

We picked up icecream, got our picture taken in the photo booth, and we came home and took short naps before picking up Van from school.  When I got in bed last night I started telling Paul all about my day with Devin...man, it was a good day.  I loved making memories, even if he won't remember. 

I said something on Facebook about feeling guilty for planning something fun with just Devin, because I know how much Van loves the museum.  I realized it was silly to feel guilty.  Devin will not have nearly the alone time with Paul and I that Van had.

I am excited to make it a habit to take each one of our children out individually to do something special.

american crafts warehouse sale part 3

This is my 3rd year blogging about the American Crafts sale.  If you are new around here, I pretty much think it is the best sale around.  Duh, of course I think that, or I wouldn't keep blogging about it.

If you remember these teacher gifts, they were purchased at the warehouse sale last year.  For Van's birthday banner...all the products used to make it I bought at the warehouse sale as well. I bought BFF's wedding album there, all the supplies, and let me tell you...cheapest way to go if you are starting from scratch on any book.

So, here is the info.

Be there, or be square.

Loves.

for the record.

I am still in denial.  I have been for almost a month now.

I woke up Sunday morning wondering if I actually was pregnant. Maybe I should take ANOTHER pregnancy test, then promptly went and threw up.  Um, guess I really am pregnant. I do have the baby bump, cravings, and the acne to confirm as well...I still just can't believe it.

I have been getting the same questions so I will just put them all out there...

Was this planned?

This pregnancy was not planned. Does it matter if we planned it out or not?  Nope, we will still be having a baby, and we will still be madly in love with said baby when he/she arrives. 

When are you due?

I have an idea, but until I get an ultra sound...I can only speculate.  So, I will just say Summer-ish 2012.

Are we excited?

Since I am in denial, I don't think excitement for me has happened yet.  Van is over-the-top thrilled.  She is the bestest big sister ever, and will be a pro the 2nd time around.  Vin is too little.  He just wants someone to play with him non stop.  I wouldn't say that Paul ever gets excited for me to be pregnant...and I don't blame him...I am miserable to live with. 

How do I feel?

This pregnancy has been very similar to Van's.  Thankfully.  Someone must be lookin' out for me, because if I had a repeat of Devi's I would be a mess right now.  If I eat exactly what I crave, I don't throw up.  If I can't think of anything that sounds good, and I don't eat...I throw up.  So as soon as my eyes come open in the morning, I start thinking of food that sounds good.

When are you going to the Dr.?

After we found out we were going to have a baby, I instantly thought of our new insurance.  Oh man, I picked the HIGHEST of HIGH deductibles.  We are talkin' the $12,000 plan...not thinking we would be having a baby.  Turns out, we don't have a Maternity Benefit anyway...so the deductible doesn't matter.  We will be paying 100% for this baby.  So as funny as it sounds, I am shopping around. 

Is there any questions I missed?

and our party becomes 5

shocked?  yeah, we are too.

soak it in, I'll be back after the weekend...we have much to discuss.

fighting.

I have had one of those mornings already, and it's 8:47 AM.  Can't wait to see what else will be included in this day...sarcasm included.

I laugh when people say that a baby is hard, and people that have teenagers probably laugh at me when I say a 7 year old is hard. Yes, a baby cries...but they don't talk back, all they want to do is eat and poop, and snuggle!  Not a shabby gig.

Gone are the days that Van will sit and watch TV while I fix her hair, let me pick out her clothes, or think I am cool when I sing {I get the eye roll, and the "Mom, you are embarassing me" line now}.  Those are all a thing of the past. 

We have fights every morning I make her take a bath. We fight over wearing clothes instead of pajamas. We fight over brushing her hair. We fight over cleaning her bedroom, and the list could go on.

This morning after she had been in the bath for over 35 minutes, and we were well on our way to being late for school...I realized I am in big trouble when she is a teenager.

Man, she is a beautiful girl, and she is mine...no matter how many fights, or how many times I have to help her clean up her messy room...I love her.

Let's just hope she starts learning time management before I go crazy.

halloween.

Some how I got out of trick or treating last year, but this year I wasn't so lucky.  I would rather just go and spend the $10 on a few bags of candy for Van, than have to go house to house for it. Yes, lame Mom moment. 

This year with two kids, it was definitely a team effort.  Paul was in charge of Devi for awhile, and then when Devi and I had enough of the fun we walked back home...while Paul and Van scored big time.  They stayed out for over an hour longer.  Van was sure proud of her bucket that was completely full.

It always brings back childhood memories when the candy was all dumped out, and the trading started to take place.  Devin picked out all the suckers, Paul picked out a variety, and Van picked all things chocolate...I passed on candy, because ya know I don't need it. :)

Until next year.

Devin will be practicing his running between houses...