I don't know what it is like to have my children close in age.
My siblings and I are very close in age, and as we were growing up I didn't care about it. Now that we are adults it didn't make us "close" just because our ages are similar. So going off of that...here is my opinion.
I see very little disadvantages to having a large age gap. You do forget what it is like to have sleepless nights, and you do get out of the swing of things. My car seat expired, we had to buy new of most things...but we would have had to anyway...because Vin wasn't a girl! :) AND really what new Mommy doesn't like to shop for fun new things!?
The benefits for me are endless.
Van HELPS a lot!
Van helps feed him.
Van helps me give him a bath.
Van plays with him when I need to get stuff done.
Van cleans up after him, and his toys.
Van is my little babysitter while I am in the shower.
Van pushes the stroller.
Van likes to show Vin how to do things.
Pregnancy is hard on me...when I wasn't on my "A game" there was not a toddler for me to have to chase. Van was very willing to watch movies with me, make her own sandwich, and let me be.
When Vin was born the problems we had were Van wanting to help too much. She didn't want to leave us at the hospital. She wanted to be up in his grill constantly. She wanted to wake him up so they could play.
Van was very ready to be an older sister.
We occasionally have jealousy between the two, because Vin goes through clothes a lot...Van wants us to buy stuff for her as frequently as we do for the baby. Those are the moments we explain to her that she takes Tae Kwon Do, she goes to the movies, she got whatever toy she was begging for at the moment.
Obviously it has worked out well for us so far (I will let you know in 10 years if they hate me for it)!
Van made it a pretty easy transition though.
Thank you Rebecca for asking. Can't wait for you to be a Mommy of two!
12 comments:
I think you do whatever works best for you. Some are totally fine with five under the age of five. Me? I had two, then enjoyed some spacing and had two more. It works perfectly even if it does feel like we started over. The older ones help a lot and with a 13YO, I now have a legal sitter whenever I need one!
Mine are 3 1/2 years apart and it's been perfect for us. Now that my youngest is 5 I've realized that if I ever have another one it will be a really big space between them. But, oh well. We do what works for us at the time.
That last picture cracks me up.
We are planning on spacing ours out. Not that we have a lot of control over that, but some. :)
Plus, we need babes the same age again. It's the only way.
There are four kids in my family, and all of us are five years apart. I liked it growing up, because we didn't have to fight over clothes or friends or boys because we were far enough apart. Now that we're older, it doesn't make much of a difference but I did like it when I was growing up.
So I think your opinion is bias because you have an AMAZING daughter. lol. I have NEVER met a kid like her that is soooo willing to help. Your secrets would be greatly appreciated. :)
Love, A bias aunt!
You got some dang cute kids, so your spacing worked great!
Now that my kids are getting older, I see how nice it is to have someone to help out with the babies. However, I didn't know any different, so I didn't miss it. Having all of ours close together works for us and I wouldn't change it, but that doesn't mean I would recommend it as the way to go. To each their own.
p.s. happy birthday!!
(i don't want you to miss out on all of those fb birthday wishes.)
Anika and Cambree are 4 years apart and I seriously LOVE it!! I love having them 4 years apart. Cambree and JJ are only 15 months ( obviously not in the plan lol) it is hard but I have to say I love having them that close.
BTW HAPPY 30th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First I'm here to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a fabulous birthday, my love.
Also, I'm closest with the sister who is farthest in age from me - not the little sister who is five years younger or the older sister who is three years older - the oldest sister who is seven years apart.
That I am looking forward too. I always said I didn't want my kids farther than 3 years apart, I wanted them to still grow up with the same kinds of things etc.
My first two are 17 months, and my 2 & 3rd are 17 months. Although I am so nervous to start over again 6 1/2 YEARs Later. I am looking forward to what you are talking about. The help, the older siblings to be there when I need a break, a shower, to get the dishes done (or have them do it LOL) I am looking forward to not having two sets of diapers to change, two waking up at night all the time and not chasing a toddler and getting them out of everything when trying to nurse or give the baby a bath. It will be good to have that gap in many ways I think. But I am so not ready for the sleepless nights (my 30 yr old body doesn't like those so well anymore!) the constant need to feed and diaper change again and we your whole world for a year. (but sooo worth it) I feel like I have been out of that stage for so long. It will definitely be interesting!
I love seeing your kids and how cute they are together and the better I feel about mine having such a large gap! Like everything in this world there are so many pros and cons to both sides. I loved having them so close together (not planned that close, but was happy with it) but I can sure see how great it will be the other way as well!
I loved your post! Thanks so much for answering my question! I don't personally know many people who space their kids as much as I am doing, so I like to see someone else who has done it and has done it well! I hope Lydia is as good of a helper as Van is!
There is a 4 1/2 year (5 in school) gap between me and my closest sibling. I hated it ALL growing up. Now that we are all older it doesn't matter but it did when we were little. I was the baby of them family and so there wasn't anyone else. My sister never wanted to play with me and we were never in the "same stage". I looked up to her but the age difference was just too much. I was lonely even being the youngest of 5. And then from 8th grade on it was just me for my parents to focus on. When I didn't want attention the most I got all of it. For 5 years it was just me and the folks. I swore I would never do this to my kids. Sometimes I wish I had an older child to help. Micah being a boy and just his personality he's not much into babies. But I love love love how good friends he and Hailey are and hopefully soon Hailey to Olivia. I have terrible pregnancies as well but sometimes it helped having someone else to focus on and motivate me. And it doesn't last forever. Sometimes it's hard because Hailey doesn't realize that Micah is older so he gets to do things she doesn't. Basically I think it ultimately comes down to what you and your husband can do and handle. But I think the 2-3 year age gap is perfect. Wow...that was a long comment, sorry. P.S. Happy Birthday and love the glasses! :)
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