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Friday, August 21, 2009

My Life.

My life has not been easy. From a very young age I learned that people do stop loving each other. Family doesn't mean a lot, because you can always opt out at any time. People tell lies to each other. People don't always like to tell the truth to their own selves. Just because you have children doesn't mean you wanted all of them, and doesn't mean you will be good parents just because you can have them.

My world was a mess, AND then I met Paul.

I think that it took Paul a year after he married me to finally convince me that he wasn't going to leave me every time we had a fight. It took lots of time for the wounds from my childhood to finally scab. I am not sure that you ever really heal, but things do get better.

Paul taught me that even though I didn't have a lot of great examples, I can still be a good Mother. A good Wife. A good friend. AND a good person. Paul taught me that it's okay that everyone doesn't like me, and in return I don't have to like everyone either. I can have an opinion, and can voice it...and not be ashamed. I don't have to agree with everyone, and not everyone is going to agree with me.

Paul is my best friend, and for that I am grateful. We have made a family that is my one-and-only constant that I know I can always depend on. I feel safe around Paul and my daughter. As I sit here with my big ol' belly, sick as a dog, I am thankful for Bri/Vin too!

17 comments:

Vanessa said...

you are having a stressful day huh?
just calm down
tell everyone around you that you need a break
and zone out for a bit

Sam Jo said...

Your family is a trip! Thank goodness for Paul and Van!

Emily Christine said...

I'm sorry that you are having a crappy day. Just remember that so many people love you. You are such an incredible mom, wife and friend. If you ever need reminding I am always a phone call away!! I think it is just important to suround yourself with people in your life that make you feel GOOD and care about you, and maybe not as much for the others. :)

Brittani Hill said...

You are such a strong girl( I'm aloud to say "girl" because I am your elder-hehehe!
I have come to see through reconnecting with you through Fb and your Blog that you have blossomed into such a beautiful person(not that you weren't as a young girl)and it is so great to know that despite all the crap life has dealt you that your going to continue to be ok.I know your not going to let anything/one stop ya now or ever!!-"But just in case- give me their name and info who is cause'in ya so much turmoil and I'll take care of them"!!lol!!
Sorry I guess I still have some Y/W's Leader protectiveness for ya! lol!!!
We have both had some pretty hard knocks in life and we can both keep gett'in up and keep on keep'in on- plus with the lord and your wonderful little "FAMILY" on your side your going to continue to blossom!
Now, don't ever forget how much I love and hope the best for you in life-
Love Always-ooxoo Me

Brittani Hill said...

P.S...
Paul You Rock!!!
Thanks for taking such good care of Evonne-I hope to meet you in person someday!

Lace said...

I have been so excited to reconnect with you as well. You have an amazing spirit that radiates happiness, that's how I remember you and that's how I see you now as well. That smile of yours is so sincere no matter what you are dealing with. I'm sorry you're so sick right now, but I'm glad you have Paul & Van to take care of you. I hope todays a better day! :)

alicia said...

aw i know times get hard, and it even things seem like they can never get better, they will. and the biggest thing i've learned is that family is sooo important!!! my family isnt as close as I'd like them to be, and so I know that I want the closest and most loving relationships for my kids, so even though things were tough for me it's taught me alot. hope you feel better!!!

Unknown said...

Thanks girls. Really. I am an emotional roller coaster, I am totally blaming this whole post on pregnancy hormones. {wink}!

Love you guys!

kendahl a. said...

I'm so glad you were able to meet Paul and he was able to show you that some relationships can be stable! You're such a great woman and you deserve all the best things. Just tell Vin he needs to calm down with causing this emotional stuff [yes, I've convinced myself you're having a boy because I want you to have a boy SOOO bad :)].

zoo keeper said...

does your family suck too?? i'm always looking to adopt grandparents for my kids...it's really to bad(for thier real granparents)!!
hang in there and keep up the good work!

marci said...

I know we don't know each other IRL but I can tell you deserve a really awesome life and it sounds like Paul and Van and Vin/Bri can offer you that. Hang in there! The hormones will pass...eventually. Love ya!

Jerilee E. said...

Well, I blame everything I do on hormones when I'm pregnant! Seriously, it sucks that you to deal with hard stuff growing up. It takes a strong person to come through that kind of stuff as such an awesome person :).

Laura Marchant said...

Great post!

Jennifer Paganelli said...

love what you have to say.

Lyle Family said...

Thank you for this post...I know that we all have rough times and I have had a week from somewhere else. So reading this, made me realize that things have a brighter side. Thanks!! Love you!! You are a great friend and I am glad that after so long we were able to reconnect.

Krystal said...

ok... I feel bad... I've had this sitting unread in my google reader for the past 4 days, not sure of the right words to say. BUT I do want you to know that I appreciate you sharing this. And it is good to know that happily ever after does exist :) good luck with bri/vin... I'm rootin for a little Vin :)

Paige Taylor Evans said...

I'm so glad you married someone so wonderful who helps you see your truest potential. I love this post.