so this is what it feels like.

{This was written at the beginning of June.}

Paul came home and told me that he made an executive decision, and I couldn't argue with it. Friday would be my last day working, and I would wait out the rest of my pregnancy at home. Even though I love being home, I loved the idea of going to bed at a decent hour, and I could think of a long list of things that I wanted to accomplish before Bri came...

I was scared. I was worried, and I wanted to argue.

Things have been stressful around these parts for longer than I would like to admit. It has something to do with a Doctor bill over $2,000, a hospital bill over $3,000, buying a new car with a down payment of $3,000...shall I go on? Even though my part time working gig doesn't bring home our bacon anymore, I was having a hard time quitting. I felt capable of sitting at my job to help us out a little more.

I didn't argue with Paul, but Saturday and Sunday I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be to finally not have to work.

Monday rolled around, and so did my 5:55 AM wake up call named Devin.  Ever since the big room switch-a-roo...that boy can't sleep in to save his life. That is a post for another day.

I decided I needed to stop being in survival mode, change my attitude, and stop spending so much time being worried about things I really have zero control over. Easier said than done, but I felt successful when the day was done.

We went to the splash pad. Savannah and I cooked a really good stir fry for a late lunch. The kids played, took naps, and watched a movie. We went on a little road trip to Provo for dinner, dessert, and the kids ran through the water fully clothed...it was all so lovely.

After my little heart swelled while I listened to Devin say his prayers, and Savannah read bedtime stories for us...it was decided I like the way this feels. I can definitely get use to this. I am sure not every day will be awesome...but the good will definitely outweigh the bad.

Tomorrow? Well, I have an idea of donuts from the gas station for breakfast, dollar section at Target for prizes for the kiddies, and a quick stop at the craft store to find something for us to create and get messy with.