It is amazing how much I can learn in a 24 hour period. Last night Paul informed that Van had lost her TV privileges for a day, because she told a little white lie. We strongly dislike liars. We will not tolerate it from Van...even if it is as small as "Yeah Daddy...I took my gum out when I was sleeping," promptly followed by her spitting it out. We want to instill in her while she is young proper values and etiquette.
While servicing one of our locations today, Paul asked the little girl "how much money did you put in the machine?" Simple enough question, right? She had sheer horror in her eyes, like I have been caught. She immediately turns to her mother, and the Mother immediately says "$5" Funny thing is, there wasn't even that much money in the machine...and this little girl had LOTS of loot! Her Mom lied for her! What is that teaching our "future"? I have been disturbed ever since.
Sometimes people tell lies to not get in trouble. Sometimes it is to protect someones feelings. Sometimes it is just out of habit. Do you feel like some lies are acceptable?
12 comments:
I have a hard time with this one because my girls to that. They will occasionally lie to protect the other one. Which is bad, because they are lying and good because they are showing their love by protecting each other. So, really, I don't know what to tell you. Sorry for the worthless comment! :)
yes!
I think it depends. If it's a white lie that is done soley to spare someone's feelings, and nothing good will come out of telling them the truth, then I think it's OK.
I think it's a problem when you lie so you don't get yourself into trouble.
I have a really hard time with that too. I was married to a compulsive liar for 5 years, it was hard and it was a serious addiction for him. Its sad how lies can destroy people and families and he got his example from his parents, so its been hard for him to try to even change what he has grown up with 35 years later.
My current husband and I do our best to teach our children the importance of honesty. You may not always like the outcome of being honest, but in the end its worth it.
Our kids can already see and pick up on the lies their father tells, we never say a word about it. He creates his own image and what the kids think about him. Its sad to see them figure it out but we don't feel its our place to tell them how he really is. They will and have already found out on their own. The effects of the lies affect us daily. We just try to teach them that dishonesty and lies are not acceptable at anytime. Little white lies may start it but they can progress into so much more.
Just my personal opinion and life experiences.
Wow what a box of worms.... I think it depends, but you bring up a VERY good point, I find that if I think someone is lying to me, I have a VERY hard time NOT judging them, but then bad on me for judging, geez, I dunno...
I think I can find some instances where I wouldn't think it was as bad as others. :) How's that for a pc answer?
No. I don't like liars. But my husband doesn't either. He told me that he is going to tell our kids Santa is not real. Because he doesn't want to lie to our kids. I was soooo mad. haha We just don't talk about it anymore. I guess we don't need to worry about it until we actually have kids... Right?!
My 2 oldest have been testing out the lying thing recently and it makes me crazy! We've told them that they will get in way more trouble for lying instead of telling the truth.. and they sure do! However... we are at this moment driving home from Oregon and my 3 year old is crying and crying and asking if we can go back to grandmas tomorrow. I told her "We'll see".. which is technically a lie cuz I know FOR SURE that we are not! Am I a liar and bad mom?.. or just a tired mom who wants her kids to be quiet??
we have been trying to teach our kids to not lie also. we have adopted a lie chore which includes seperating the green dog food from all the other colors. only 1 child has had to do it. however, this question has made me think. we all lie to our children. santa is not real, right.....but we tell our kids that he is real. same with the tooth fairy and the easter bunny..... shall i continue? what will our children think then when we finally tell them the truth. whoops! mom and dad have been lying all along?
I so relate to "J Erickson", I want my kids to not lie but then I always find myself in those little white lies just like her. It seriously must be an age thing because Andy has been trying out the lying thing lately too. He is constantly telling me that Luke did a bad thing to get himself out of trouble (even if I witness the whole event take place and he knows I know he is lying).
BUT THEN I totally remember my sister and I sluffing from school and covering for each other all the time growing up so I know it's normal to do, but I don't necessarily believe it's a good thing. I could go on all night about this...
Lying!! ahahahahaha my worse pet peeve! My daughter does it constantly!!! I will probably go insane over it!! The only times it is ok to lye is when it brings "joy" to others(all involved)like Santa,Easter Bunny,Tooth Fairy,etc. or not telling a harmful tell to someone that you heard from someone else.
You are so smart to be consistent on your daughters lying-kids need to learn that it is "not worth" a consequence to lye and that it is a "wonderful" thing to tell the truth-praise her galore when she is truthful!
ooxoo ME
That's a hard one. I really try to find a honest but kind way of putting things. The problem is that I am not tactful or smart enough to find that! I have in the past lied to Dan about how much money I have spent but have since repented of my evil ways!
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