Yeah, I suckered my hubby into writing something. Make sure you give him all some groupie love. =)
Just to let you know, this post was not meant to teach parents how to discipline there children.
I, Paul Sell, have been asked by my wife to occasionally be a guest on her blog. I thought that would be a great idea, until I realized, what would I say that might actually interest people. So, for the last two weeks I have been pondering a lot of different topics. Then, I took our daughter to Chick-Fil-A and my topic was shown to me, disciplining our children.
As I sat with Van, eating our chicken nuggets and waffle fries, I saw two of the most disturbing parenting techniques I have ever seen. Not more than 5 ft from me, a lady, (I'm going to assume the Mother) wanted her son to exit the play area and eat his food. Like most 5 year old boys (another assumption), he wanted to keep playing. Shocker, I know. I understand raising your voice, but this lady took it to another level. She starts yelling and screaming at him, and of course he yells and screams right back at her. I'm not morally opposed to people yelling at there children, believe me, I've done it a time or two. But I don't think it's fair to do it in public place and ruin other's people's dinner. Anyways, the child is not responding, what does she do, she whacks him right across the face. The kid staggers for a moment, and then keeps right on yelling at her. Is anyone else as concerned as I am about a 30+ year old woman smacking a small child in the face. What do you think? I really wanted to walk over, and ask her what was wrong with her?
The second thing I saw was more disturbing than the first. Apparently, a 4 year old child was pushing a 2 year old child. I know that's hard to believe, moving right along, the Mother of the 2 year old child grabs the 4 year old from behind the neck, and drags him around the restaurant searching for his parents. First of all, I assume when Van enters a play area, there is a good chance she is going to be pushed, pinched, poked, etc. This is how our children learn to associate with others, how else are they going to learn? Repeating what I said earlier, I'm not writing this to tell others how to discipline their children, and I don't think anyone else should either, especially this lady! I honestly was trying to imagine this lady dragging my child, and wondering what I would do. I can honestly say I would probably be inclined to punch her. Is that wrong? What would you do? Unless my child is threatening your child's well-being don't put your hands on my child. Remove your child from the area, ask my child to stop pushing yours, but do not discipline my child! Am I crazy? Tell me what you think. I need to know if I am thinking logically.
13 comments:
Oh heck yes I would have given that lady a good whacking or called the cops. This has scared me from going back to Chic f La! or however you spell the place
I would have said something to the lady that smacked her kid, that is so out of line, poor kid, you wonder what he gets at home if she is willing to do that in public. I would never put my hands on someone else's kids in that kindof manner. I would have a fit if I saw someone doing that to my child. Note to self... stay away from chic fil-A!
of course, this could happen anywhere.
Holy Cow. I feel so bad for that first kid because it's just going to get worse. If she has no issue smacking a 5 year old in public, what else does she and will she do?
The second mom...she shouldn't have responded that way. But remember, every mom has a mama bear in her. When you see your own kid (especially a defenseless 2 year old) getting beat up on, it's hard to sit back- even if it's what you should do. She really should have checked her emotions, and decided if it was truly a big enough issue to pursue. If she still thought it was, she should have removed her own kid, and found the parents of the other kid to talk to. She had no right to drag the other kid around...but I really don't blame her. That would have been my first instinct too! (Hopefully I would have simmered down before I took action though!)
Man alive! Ok, who doesn't yell at their kids at least once in a while, but I know that I go out of my way to NOT do it in public. Hitting him, though?? I can't imagine smacking my kids in the face EVER.
As for the other situation, you don't discipline a child you don't even know- you just don't! I have had other kids pick on my kids but I intervene in a much less physical manner. How about asking them to stop or removing your own child from the situation. There is a VERY good chance I would have punched her if she had done that to my child. Kids are kids- not that they should push, but geez! A four year old? She must not get that being four doesn't mean you should know better.
The first mom should have just gotten her kid and her food to go and left the place...but she probably ended up letting the kid go back to the playground afterward which doesn't reinforce any discipline she is suppose to be installing in them.
I guess my question on the other part is where the heck is the parents of the four year old???Someone else can grab your kid and drag them around the place and you aren't there to stop them?? I would freak out on someone else grabbing my kids but they would not have the chance because I would be there with them. Who leaves their kids like that anyway???
-Janet
Paul wants to respond to everyone...and as soon as the meds aren't making him loopy I will let him. ;)
The first thing he said when he got out of surgery...how many people have commented on my post? How cute is he?
I was in a Taco Maker and a boy about 6 or 7 years old was bullying all of the other kids in the playarea.. my daughter and another small girl came out of the playplace with red welts on their arms from him hitting them. I was p*****off!!! But I calmly asked the kid to come here and then asked who he belonged to and then showed his mother the injury to the two girls, boy was she embarrassed and rightfully so! The grandma was mad at me for saying something to them in front of everyone else but I felt better and it showed my daughter to not take it from bad kids!
Last summer I saw a similar incident to the first at the park. After talking to a couple people about how wrong it was my employer told me that I should have called 911. Child abuse is against the law. Amazing to think it wasn't that long ago that teachers had WHIPS in their classrooms to control kids. I think if people knew how difficult it was to be a parent they NEVER would have gotten themselves into the situation. Some people really shouldn't have kids!!! Who glorifies parenting anyway...can we blame the media?
As for the second woman...I would have kicked her ass then called the cops!!
i think it is funny to hear everyones opinion. Obviously I'm not a parent so i don't know too well, but i was totally thinking I would punch both of those moms, until I read Rebeccas comment and started to put myself in the other persons shoes. What is someone was hitting my savannah :) I would want to march that kid to their parents...but of course I wouldn't. i would probably take the high road and push them and run with savannah lol.
PS. Memory for Paul: I remember going to your work all day and we would talk about how we were going to beat up the kids that picked on Jake. haha. One kid took his pen and we were talking about how we were going to by him the coolest pen in the world for Jake. A little protective :) -- but I think i still think that way since I haven't learned otherwise with a kid.
How sad. Yes I have had my moments with my kids but never to that point. My kids have gone and hurt other kids... maybe not even intentionally, but as soon as I see it or hear about it they're through playing. Straight to a time-out and a good one on one talk with Mom (or Dad). I always make sure they apologize to whomever they may have hurt. What's sad is when my child has been hurt and the parent doesn't do anything about it. That's when I find it's time to go or maybe find another area to play. I know when we have been in a situation where the parents are acting ridicules, we leave. I don’t want them to even think that that kind of behavior is o.k. and if we stay I think it’s sending my kids the wrong message.
-Thanks for your post Paul. I liked it.=)
Yikes! Okay you are totally thinking logically I would hope that I would of taken some action... Like calling the cops on lady #1 and then grabbed lady #2 by the neck and dragged her @$$ around the restaurant... Again so NOT OKAY to discipline OTHER people's kid, ESPECIALLY ones that you don't know.... Hello PSYCHO!! I totally think its okay to ask the kid who they belong to and go talk calmly to the other parent but SERIOUSLY!!! This makes me MAD! But I really like your post Paul!!
Smacking your kid in public? She should have been arrested or at least had child services called on her. I agree with everyone else, that poor kids home life must be awful.
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